Just Sad

Oh, Brother. Not sure I have words. Just having a REALLY hard night. They're all sad, but tonight I'm consumed with it. I miss you SO much. It's not fair. This is just so unfair. I used to be able to look at your pictures and it would give me comfort to talk to you in them, but now every time I see your photo, I just break down. My heart hurts. What I would give to have you back here with us...

These last few weeks have gotten harder for me. Not sure about everyone else, but for me it hurts more now than ever. We went to Lake Wales this past weekend and I can't help but think of you the entire time we are there. How much you loved it. All your muddy days and nights. Your Jeep. I got your feather on Saturday. Thank you. I also noticed the breeze when I was taking a picture of the tree. I appreciate you visiting. Please don't ever stop.

Tyler asked me at the dinner table one night last week if I was still sad and missed you. I told him of course I do. He said "well then we should drive and get him and bring him home". If only Heaven wasn't so far away. I would do it in a heartbeat. We all miss you. Please continue to watch over us and send us strength. We need it and we need you. Always have and always will.

Love you Forever, Brother. Until we meet again...

Your Memorial - Your Paradise

I miss you. Period. What did you think of the places we spread your ashes? I know you were watching over us. I hope you liked where we decided. We also planted a tree, in your memory, in your favorite place. It's beautiful. There's just 1 thing wrong with it...it's a memorial. I am truly saddened at the realization of all of this. My heart is broken. To think I will never see you again, never see you riding your Jeep in Lake Wales, never see your truck in the Publix parking lot, never see you rolling around on the living room floor with the kids. I'm broken. I sat on the back porch with Mom in Lake Wales and we talked. I'm sad you never got to sit on the back porch. You would LOVE it! I know you're here with us in spirit, but this is just crazy. I hope you are pain free in Heaven. Meanwhile, back here, we miss you like crazy. Your memories are all we have left, so we are memorializing them. I hope the tree grows to be big and beautiful, like your soul. Please send Mom and Dad strength. They need you. PS - thank you for helping with the weather at the kids party yesterday. It was a tough day without you there. They will all be tough days without you there.

Love you forever, Brother. Until we meet again...